Frustrating, but profitable

 And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times:

Unless she had turned from me, 

surely now also I had slain thee, and saved he alive.

Numbers 22:33

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; 

but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, 

as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Genesis 50:20

Oh, how frustrating the roadblocks of life are!

I don't want detours;

I don't want delays;

In essence, I want my way.

But just as God used an angel to spare Balaam

And God took Joseph on a detour to save the entire nation of Israel,

So he uses the detours in my life for my good or the good of others.

I haven't figured out the reasons for all the detours,

But the longer I live,

The more I understand some of the detours.

And I am reminded to be patient in them

And to let God do the work he want to in my life.

Dependence

My aunt makes a habit of choosing a word for her year,

and I followed suit last year.

 

Last year, I chose "contentment."

It was a good year, and God gave me great victory in the area of contentment.

While it was hard to watch 6 neighbors expecting little ones.

God gave grace and contentment.

He reminded me that His way is best.

While we experienced graduation,

God did not have us start in a different ministry.

He reminded us that there is ministry wherever you are -

it is not in the "someday" or in the "when I get to ..."

 

This year - 2013 - I have chosen the word "Dependence"

combined with Psalm 71:1

 

In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust:

let me never be put to confusion.

 

I want to rely on God for everything,

to be in an attitude of prayer for my needs,

and praise for His provision.

 

I have often relied on my bank account for needs,

the Internet for health advice,

my hubby for spiritual support ...

 

While God can and does use these means,

He should be the first one I turn to.

 

I must practice dependence on God.

 

 



Something Good?

I like to find something special about where I live that helps me to be content.

Upstate NY has beautiful falls, mountain hikes, and cool weather.

Pensacola, FL has beautiful snow-white beaches.

Seattle, WA has beautiful mountains, rocky coastlines, and very temperate weather.

But, North Carolina?  What does it have?

hot summers?  red clay? 

I certainly have had a hard time finding it.

But ... I finally realized it today.

It has a tremendously long growing season.

We are enjoying fresh green beans this week and thinking about the snap peas coming.

We are also enjoying the nice long fall.

This little couple is going to enjoy the long fall too.

The pumpkins are from our little garden patch!

The girl is a bit more feminine this year.
I gave her a skirt!

I will be spending the day in Charlotte while hubby attends tractor school.

Plenty of window shopping awaits!

My Greatest Fear

Yes, I have some typical fears (and maybe some atypical) ones.

I have a fear of heights, snakes, large bugs, and frogs.

I am easily startled.

But perhaps my greatest fear is that I might try to "move" God's hand.

I know, that is "dumb," right?

God is so much more powerful than I.

But I have done it many times.

Getting my way by orchestrating my circumstances such that it looks like "God's will."

Turning a trial into a sign from God that it is time to go somewhere else.

Setting out a ridiculous fleece and asking for a sign.

Perhaps it doesn't make sense to you,

but I have such intense longings sometimes,

(for children, to move away from NC,

 to have hubby in a position where he can do what he loves all the time ...)

that it is easy to want to make things happen on my own.

And then I am reminded ...

 

 

Psalm 37:7

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: ...

 

Lamentations 3:26

It is good that a man should both hope

and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

Hope

Psalm 38:15

For in thee, O LORD, do I hope:

thou wilt hear, O Lord my God.

I know that I am supposed to ask and keep asking ...

to knock and keep knocking ...

to seek and keep seeking ...

but sometimes my heart wants to give up ...

faith does not ever make worldly sense.

Today I am thankful when God gives us current, real-life testimonies to renew hope.

It is as if He says, I know it is hard, but with me NOTHING is impossible.

I read one of those encouraging words yesterday and am grateful for it.

Repetition is the Key to Learning

In my education classes at college, we were reminded repeatedly to REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW.  It was built into the curriculum, but my instructors knew that there would be a tendency to skip the review to make time for something else.  In my own life, I see the necessity of review in my Bible memory, in the messages that I hear at church, and in my own Bible study.  I need reminders.

As I read my Bible each day, I typically read 1 Psalm, a portion of the Proverb of the day, a couple of chapters in the Old Testament and 1 chapter in the New Testament.  I do this because I know that I will come away with something.  Sometimes I need the encouragement of the Psalms.  Sometimes I need to hold onto a principle for Proverbs.  Sometimes I need the straightforward rebuke of a Prophet.  Other times I need the doctrinal teaching from the New Testament.  God gave me some repetition on Saturday.  The message was in the Old Testament and the New Testament.  The message:  "Don't talk back!"  or  "You are you for a reason."

Isaiah 45:9

Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker!

Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it,

What makest thou? or thy work, He hath no hands?

Romans 9:20

Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God?

Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it,

Why hast thou made me thus?

I really am a slow learner sometimes and these verses always convict me.  This time it was a double blow.

SHH!  Don't talk back!  I have a plan in the way you are made!

Are you listening today? 

What did you learn and apply in your Bible study today?

Unnecessary Confirmation

Psalm 68:9

Thou, O God, didst send a plentiful rain,

whereby thou didst confirm thine inheritance,

when it was weary.

It is a cool, overcast morning.

We have had a plentiful rain this spring and the gardens are loving it.

We enjoyed a house below 70* this morning with the breeze refreshing the house.

God is faithful to encourage those who trust in him.

It may not always come in our own timing, but He knows best.

I am so thankful for the small voice of God confirming my path this week.

There are weeks, when like Eve, I want to question God.

Should I really be a stay at home wife?

Does God really expect all of those qualifications in a pastor?

Why do I feel like I am swimming upstream alone? (sounds a lot like Elijah)

Common questions of a sinful woman.

Did God really say ...?

I know the right answer, but I want a loophole.

I want my way and my path and my ... and my ...

This week, there has been no doubt and questioning.

Unique opportunities created for me in my situation.

Opportunities to share, to minister, to stretch made possible

when I chose to obey.

Are you on a hard, lonely path?

Are you sure that it is the correct path of you?

...the path God wants for you?

Then just keep walking in it!

The confirmation is coming!

Better Than ...

Psalm 63:3 

Because thy lovingkindness is better than life,

my lips shall praise thee.

His lovingkindness is all that I need.

The Hebrew word is actually hard to define in one single English word.

This lovingkindness includes mercy, kindness, steadfast love ... .

So often I look at what I believe is missing ...

not on ALL that I have.

Seeds

All the flowers of all the tomorrows

are in the seeds of today.

I read this quote last night and of course it caught my eye.

I love gardening. 

I love watching things grow.

Currently, I am enjoying seeing the baby pea plants in the garden.

Yet often when I view the seeds in my life -

I view them as the blackberry seeds that are stuck in my teeth

or the watermelon seed that I spit out

and not as a source of flowers or vegetables.

Every life will have some seeds,

some hard times that may annoy or need to be discarded,

but those seeds produce something good if properly planted and nourished.

* * * * * * * *

Goal Progress:

Finished Spring Cleaning in the master bed and bath!

Laundry Room and Part of Kitchen today.

Currently working on week 5 of the 9 week running program.

Friday the plan is to jog for 20 minutes straight.

Stop Looking at Everybody Else!

Luke 12:15

And he said unto them,

Take heed, and beware of covetousness:

for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance

of the things which he possesseth.

It sure is easy to get drawn away into lust and discontent and today's society.  We are surrounded by "toys" and gadgets all designed to make life easier - to keep me connected - to help me to stay in touch with EVERYONE!  Oh, do I battle it ... wouldn't it be great to blog on a cell phone while waiting for an appointment or waiting to give a piano lesson?  Wouldn't it be great to update our church website from home instead of using wi-fi in another location?  Wouldn't that Keurig make spur of the moment entertaining a breeze?  Wouldn't that large country club home that I delivered a tract to on Saturday be just the thing to make me "happy?"  Would it be so bad to have this or that.  The rich man in the parable following this warning was looking to "take his ease."  He didn't realize that life was short and that his life would end before he fulfilled his BIG plans.  Just another verse God gave to remind me to be content - he has a plan for me and it is different than the plan he has for you.

My plans for today including finishing some Wrench Rolls and planting some peas.  I am about 2 weeks "late" on the peas, but am looking forward to getting back to the dirt!  The wrench rolls are not a strange, new delicacy, but rather a request from hubby.  I will show pictures tomorrow, but basically it is a mat with a pocket for each wrench in a set.  When not in use, the mat can be rolled up and stored neatly.  I finished 2 yesterday which promptly disappeared to the shop this morning, but I have 4 more to go.  Why so many?  2 rolls for each location - car, truck, and work - 1 standard roll, 1 metric roll.  I am practicing my upcycling skills - the pocket came from an old pair of hubby's work pants, and the roll itself from a well-loved jean jumper!

The Undesired and Unappreciated Gift



You have watched it, haven’t you - a child tearing through a stack of presents at a birthday or at Christmas?  One present opened, laid aside, another opened, laid aside, until they are all opened.  Then the child returns to the “most entertaining” or “most desired” for the remainder of the day or worse yet, begins complaining about what was not received or whining for the gift that another child received.  No thought for the efforts of Grandma in knitting the sweater.  No thought for the sacrifice of mom and dad to get the sneakers that were desperately needed.  Unacknowledged and undesired gifts.  The selfish soul does not see needs, only wants and desires and entertainment.

I am working very hard not to be that child.  Does that seem strange to you?  I have received a gift that I did not ask for or desire.  To me, at the present, it can’t compare to the gifts that others receive.  Yet, it is the gift that was chosen for me.  It was given to me by a wise and loving Heavenly Father who sees all.

 James 1:17

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.

Matthew 7:11

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts

unto your children, how much more shall your Father

which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

 It is SO easy to ask why.  Psalm 127:3 “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”  If children are a reward, why can’t I have that reward?  Am I missing something?  What am I doing wrong?  Why so many teen mothers with unwanted pregnancies?  Why some families with seemingly more children than they can handle?  Why do drug addicts get the gift that I want?  Why can some women seem to have a child every two years like clock work?

 And so here is my struggle as I watch the growing bellies pass me by, as the halls of my home echo with silence.

The answer for me does not lie in medical intervention.  For now, it does not lie in adoption or fostering.  The answer is to appreciate the gift that God is giving me today.  I have failed to recognize the sweet fellowship of leaning on the everlasting arms when the days are too quiet and the emotional pain is stonger than any physical pain could be.  I have failed to acknowledge the freedom I have to be involved in a multitude of ministries all at the same time.  I have failed to accept the spiritual growth in my life from hours of Bible study beyond a “quick read” in the morning.  I have failed to value what it is to fast and pray when many Christians fail to ever see the need.  I have failed to acknowledge God’s special dealings with me.

 Are you struggling with a situation in your life?  A sickness, a disability, a financial crisis, singleness, barrenness, loss, …?  Do you need to, like me, look for the “gift” that God is trying to give you?

I am far from where I want to be in my acceptance, but I am learning and growing.

Perfect Timing

I know it in my head ... but sometimes I don't apply it.

I know it in my head ... but I don't like the wait.

I know it in our head ... but I don't always live like it.

I am so thankful that God's timing is perfect.  For almost a year, I have been giving piano lessons in a small community about 25 miles north of my home.  They were arranged by a woman who saw a lack of music training in the churches in her remote town.  So lessons were arranged in a borrowed church, and the woman volunteered to drive when I had no transportation.  And then ... the woman had some health troubles.  No church, no transportation!  But my God knows all and is in control of all.  At that same moment, He was opening another church (with permission to use heat and lights) and He was preparing a second vehicle for us and He was multiplying my students.  Why do I fret about tomorrow?  His timing is perfect!

Reminder to Keep Working On It

Many people seek to read through the Bible each year, and it is one of my yearly goals as well. 

I am currently reading in the book of Numbers. 

What a reminder of what God thinks of discontent

(remember my word for the year). 

Miriam complained that Moses had a greater position than she did and received leprosy for a time. 

The children of Israel complained about their lack of meat and God gave them so much quail that it became loathsome to them and became the beginning of a plague. 

The sons of Korah complained about their position and the earth swallowed them up. 

Oh the number of times that we read that the children of Israel angered God! 

God is not pleased with a discontent heart. 

What are you displeased with today? 

The food on your table? 

The car that you have to drive? 

The clothes in your closet? 

Your spouse? 

Your children? 

 Your friends? 

 These are all gifts and should be received and valued as such.

It is easy to look at others and compare.

It is better to look at God and be grateful.

Quote

Contentment makes poor men rich;

discontent makes rich men poor.

- Benjamin Franklin

 

 

It is possible.

And it depends on my attitude not my circumstances.

"...and be content with such things as ye have."

Why?

"for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

Thoughts on Contentment

“If we have not quiet in our minds,

outward comfort will do no more for us

than a golden slipper on a gouty foot.”

*John Bunyan*

Contentment is a choice of the will and the mind.

Word of the Year: Contentment

con·tent·ed

adj. \kən-ˈten-təd\

:feeling or showing satisfaction with one's

possessions, status, or situation

*** *** *** *** *** ***

Learning to wait peacefully for God to open and shut doors.

 Philippians 4:11

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned,

in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

I Timothy 6:8

And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

 Hebrews 13:5

Let your conversation be without covetousness;

and be content with such things as ye have:

for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee

I Timothy 6:6

But godliness with contentment is great gain.

*** *** *** ***

Been working on this for awhile, but more so since hubby's graduation.

Not struggling with "possessions,"  but rather an acceptance of God's will

in my "status" and "situation."

BTW: the idea for a word of the year came from my aunt at 4:53am