Every Job is Different

 This past month, I enjoyed a refreshing perspective and reminder.

It is easy as a homemaker to lose focus.

The article I read this was based on a question posed to the writer:

Should a wife work outside of the home?

I have struggled with this when people ask what I do.

Sometimes I feel judged as lazy or undisciplined.

I have wondered if I should do more to "help" the family?

The author's answer was based on the title "helpmeet."

Should or can a "helpmeet" work outside of the home?

Her answer was simple ... and for me, encouraging!

Am I the best help for my husband if I am working out of the home?

Some wives can be the best helpmeet and have an external job.

Every time I consider an extra job, I find myself saying, 

"If I do this, hubby might have to get his own lunch."

"If I do this, hubby might have to help with ___."

Not every wife needs to research recipes for certain health needs.

Not every wife needs to exercise each day.

Not every wife needs to keep their home quite so quiet and tidy.

Every husband is different.

Therefore every couple has to answer the question for themselves.

My hubby is very independent and capable.

He is super tidy.

He can clean better than I can.

He is able to cook and follow recipes.

He could easily do many of the jobs I do,

but I can help him by doing them so that he has time to study,

to minister to others,

and even to spend more time with me.

I can do things that help him with his health and wellness goals.

So I was encouraged.

Every job is different.

Every home is different.

Every helpmeet has different work to do.

It is OK if I work at home!

When You Long For Spring ...

 ... YOU SPRING CLEAN!

The weather has been cold ...

and wet ...

and somewhat miserable  ...

... so I decided to spring clean early.

In the process,

I realized that the timing was perfect.

The Christmas decorations come down and make a mess.

There is less laundry because the clothes can be worn for more than one day so the washer can run with linens, pillows, and curtains.

My days will be free when spring actually arrives, the days warm up, and I want to be outside with the flowers, trees, and grass.

It feels good to clean after a little "bout" with some bug or another.

And who doesn't like the smell of "clean" when the house is all closed up.

So that's what I have been doing -

Just the kitchen and garage left!

Maybe it is not spring,

but I can pretend.

Thankful Thursday: There is Always Something to Be Thankful For

 Do you look for the good,

or just dwell on the bad?

There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

I do not have a ministry with children as much as I would like,

but this week, I did get to teach in children's church!

I am thankful for the times when I get to pour something into the lives of others,

perhaps to support a parent who needs backup,

perhaps to introduce a bus kid to love and structure in balance.

I am also thankful for the differences that make us stronger.

I am thankful that not everyone is like me.

This is most often seen in a home.

The difference can drive us crazy,

or they can show us how each person contributes in a unique way.

I am thankful that hubby has different strengths and abilities than I do.

We can balance each other.

I am not the most organized (or neat) by nature,

but to serve hubby, I try to be a little more so.

He is by nature an all-or-nothing type of personality.

While this gets things done quickly and efficiently,

sometimes our health, or time, requires a more moderate approach,

and I can balance that with him.

Hubby gets things done as soon as they are on the to-do list.

Often this is a GREAT skill because unfinished tasks do not pile up.

But sometimes things need to be thought about for just a little while longer

and I can balance in that area.

You can see where our differences could drive the other crazy (and sometimes may)!

Perhaps you are having an interpersonal struggle.

On this thankful Thursday,

why not try seeing the good in the other person?

Why not look for the the way that person helps you, balances you?

And then why not tell them the good that you see?

Footnote:  Hubby and I are not in the middle of a struggle 😊

We are enjoying this season of life and hopefully using our strengths to help each other!

Return to The Scene

Well, this is the scene of the "crime."

The decorations have changed with the seasons

and the step ladder is stronger and more sure.

I believe that all of the medical bills have trickled in finally and my wrist, 

though not what it was, is not hindering my activities.

Today, I am not cleaning the front entry,

but rather I am repairing.

We believe that in the haste to get the home ready by its promised date,

that the contractors painted the door jamb on a humid or rainy day and the paint was peeling and chipping.

While the fix was under warranty,

we really didn't want a repeat performance,

so we decided to fix it ourselves.

So yesterday, I sanded and primed,

and today, I am repainting.

There is a nice window this week of warm, dry weather,

and based on our experience last year,

the wet weather will be here soon enough.

Keeper at Home

 Hubby is teaching through Titus in Sunday School.

Last Sunday, the lesson was to the women - 

the traits that an older woman should teach

and that a younger woman should seek to follow.

"Keeper at Home" is sometimes controversial.

Hubby taught it as a mind toward home care and domesticity in both young and old alike.

A woman working outside of the home can still have a heart toward her home.

It may be possible to do both.

Even a young woman without her own home can exhibit a love for home, for beauty, 

for the family she is in and the one she may be a part of one day.

I have a hard time with the balance and therefore I stay at home.

But even in staying at home,

a woman can fail to be a keeper at home.

A stay-at-home wife can lose focus,

can be distracted by things that do not benefit her home,

can be busy with things that are not her primary role.

So I pass that on to you, dear reader:

Are you living with a focus on your home?

Are you serving your home well?

Are you fulfilling what God would have you do?

Where have you been? Part V

When in lockdown ...

publish another book!

Yes, the blog break was also due in part to the publication of another book.

This book, though still an expository commentary,

was written in a totally different style.

This study is more devotional in style with more pointed application.

It also got a new format inside.

It was less than 100 pages which made the proofing a lot easier.

And the new format and style were fun and exciting.

I never know if there will be another in the future,

but each one is a blessing to me as I get to read each numerous times.

And as I write this blog,

I realize that I still have not put together the ebook.

Guess I better add that to the to-do list.😀

Don't Forget the Brides

June is typically the most popular wedding month.

This year it seems that May was more popular among the people that we know.

The wedding day is so exciting.

I enjoy seeing the excited bride in the dress of her choosing.

I like to watch the grooms expression as the bride enters.

I like to hear what music the couple choose (usually).

I like to see the "unity" object (not just a candle anymore).

The dresses, the colors, the flowers, the vows ...

The day is just exciting.

Weeks later, I enjoy seeing the pictures.

Off the couple goes.

There is wedding travel.

There is a new residence to turn into a home.

There are presents to unpack and thank you notes to write.

And then, we are on to the next thing ...

and the bride ...

she has entered a new world.

Perhaps she has left the hustle of college,

the bustle of the work environment,

maybe she has chosen to be a stay-at-home wife ...

and it is quiet and sometimes lonely.

Perhaps you are a "seasoned" wife and have forgotten those days,

but can I encourage to look for that "forgotten" bride?

Maybe she has asked if she can help and you don't want to "bother" her.

Invite her over to help even if you don't need the help.

Invite her to do an activity with your children.

See if she would like to join you on an outing.

Fall Work

After a drizzly morning,

the sun came out and yesterday was a beautiful day for some cleanup.

I removed the trellis and beans from the garden - 

dug in the compost I had collected. 

There are still some carrots and lettuce.

I cleaned out the gutters in the front of the trailer.

They were full of leaves and the gravelly substance from the shingles.

Hubby is going to work on the seams this weekend - Hopefully.

I dug out some simple decorations for fall.

I enjoyed the last pieces of nature before winter.

And today,

Preparation of the church prophet's chamber for a guest this weekend,

a hillbilly rake job (that is mowing the leaves),

a walk with an encouraging friend,

and a dress to cut out.

"Obedient to their Own Husbands"

I am finally back to Created to Be His Helpmeet.  It is such a challenge every time that I read it.  This chapter was again on submission and the power of a submissive, loving woman.  The Bible clearly states that a woman is to obey HER own husband.  How often will we drop everything for the request of another man while ignoring the wishes of our husband?  How often will we make commitments without consulting the head of our home?  How often will we justify our actions because our husband is not saved or is not "acting godly?"  The Bible equates my obedience to my husband as obedience to God.  God also promises that my meek and quiet spirit (if I am using it) is the force that can cause change in my husband not a nagging or complaining or self-righteous spirit.  I have seen many a wife run to the pastor, or a deacon looking for sympathy or "a way out" or an excuse for their own behavior, when their answer is right in the Word - just lovingly submit!  I have seen many a wife agree to help in any area of the "ministry" while ignoring their own home which is truly their ministry.  It is easy to want to vilify our husband and justify ourselves, but that will cause the Word of God to be blasphemed.  I was particularly struck by the fact that I can fuel the flames of anger in my husband.  How often do I bring up a subject that I know will start a "lively" discussion instead of keeping the conversation of our home on things that are true and lovely?  Again I come back to the illustration of the thermometer or the thermostat.  Rather than just report the condition of things in my home, I want to help to control it by a meek and quiet spirit that is sweetly submitting to God's plan as given in His Word.  Will you rise to the challenge as well?  Why not take God as His Word and leave the results to Him?

Taboo Topics?

As you may realize, the next item on the list of wifely qualities is "obedient to their own husbands."  This topic is often avoided or mangled in classrooms and pulpits in an effort to pacify the women in attendance.  I do not believe that obeying and submitting to my husband makes me "less" of a person or that it belittles me.  I love my God-given role as helper and feel that it is an exalted role.  After all, the family of the virtuous woman rose up and blessed here.  I am still working my way through this very long chapter, but please know that I am not avoiding it.  I just want to give it the thought and study that it deserves and this week has had some added chores as I look forward to my weekend guest.  You will excuse me, won't you? 

GOOD

Today is another warm day, but it looks as if the heat will be breaking soon.  There have been many afternoons and early evenings when I have almost lost my resolve and turned on the AC.  There is a beautiful breeze right now and hopefully it will keep the trailer more tolerable this afternoon.  I will be cutting out a nightgown this afternoon for a growing niece.  The sewing may happen this weekend, but we'll just have to wait and see.  I have made a dent in freshening up the linens for my coming guests.  I think I only have a stack of towels left.  I think that I need to have company more often!

"teach the young women to be ... good"

The author describes "good" as an action.  An action that honors one's husband.  Proverbs 12:4 " A virtuous woman is  crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."  The Bible promises that my actions can make my husband look good and bring him honor and respect or can cause him great shame.  If I had a lazy, or angry, or inattentive husband, my work could make him appear industrious and loving.  My faithful work could bring him honor.  On the flip side, if my husband is hard working and industrious, my frivolity and lack of attention to finances and the home can bring him shame by reflecting poorly upon him.  The author describes a "good" wife as ever learning and increasing in knowledge, as a hardworking helper rather than a hindrance, as virtuous, as active, as wise.  The world wants to portray a homemaker as weak, as pitiful, as lazy, as useless  ... but the "good" homemaker is actually busy, confident, capable, useful, and thankful.  How are you reflecting on your husband today?  Does your home convey peace and order?  Are you working with the children so that their obedience and honor is a reflection on your husband as a capable leader?  Are you attempting to lighten your husband's "honey-do" list by learning to do things yourself?  Are you reading books that just waste time or are you lost in the internet instead of reading books about health, gardening, home repair, child training, spiritual growth that will make you more useful in the home?  Are you wasting the money that your husband brings home or seeking to stretch every dollar by denying self and living frugally in the home?  I have to admit that the last one is the hardest for me ... It is easy to compare my home, my clothes, my car, my food with those of others rather than learning to take and use what I have to live within my means.

Good ... It is more than an adjective ... it is an active verb!

A heart fixed on the home

We are experiencing a beautiful week here in NC.  We may even see 80* before the end of the week.  The forecast in the paper for the next 5 days was nothing but sunshine!  This "solar-powered" girl just loves the sun.  Everything around us looks so beautiful.  Our property is lined with Bradford pear trees - they are beautiful year round, but the tiny white flowers this season are exquisite.  Daffodils are happily blooming and the hyacinths and tulips are not too far behind them.

It is a great week for getting laundry done ... without the dryer.  I think that I will start freshening up some of the frequently unused bedding and blankets before my guests arrive in 2 1/2 weeks.  Yesterday I made up some rice pancakes.  They turned out well and are very satisfying.  I also made 2 batches of cookies - some for hubby and some as a thank you for a friend.  I need to make a batch of bread today and we are feeding a college student tonight - he will be here for "breakfast night" so he gets biscuits and gravy ... yum!

"that they teach the young women to be ...

keepers at home ..."

Titus 2:4-5

As I started this book and felt the Lord working in my heart, I looked at this chapter and thought, "Alright, I think I have this one down."  Dangerous thoughts of pride - huh?  But, but, ... this is the whole reason that I don't work outside of the home, this is the reason that I pass on many ladies' activities.  I had studied this out many times and heard and read many differing opinions on the phrase "keepers at home."  Some would promote that this is simply keeping a neat and tidy home ... teach woman to be housekeepers.  When I researched "keeper," I was impressed that it meant a guard. 

So what happened when I read the chapter.  I was impressed with the number of ways that I leave my "post" during the day even while still bodily in the home.  I can fail to "keep" my home by spending too much time on the phone or internet, I can waste time doing unprofitable tasks, I can be distracted by nothing at all and fail to accomplish anything in the home.   I again was convicted that I need to "redeem the time."  I need to choose my activities carefully.

The author says: "'Keeping the home' is more than staying at home; it is having a heart that is fixed on the home.  A help meet will be engaged in creative enterprises that challenge and inspire the children.  She will guard the home against outside influences, and she will always be on watch to protect the children from their own inventions of evil.  She will not be idle and neither will her children.  She will ease her husband's load by painting the hall and cutting the grass.  She will be frugal in all her endeavors, and she will teach the children to love serving Daddy.  She will keep the home so that when Daddy comes home, it is a sanctuary of peace, love, and order.  A real help meet will make herself useful to her man instead ofwasting her time."

More Woman's Work

This mujer is working today.  I just finished my exercise and as soon as this blog is posted, I will finish the lawn, then plant some seedlings, then iron, and hopefully start on the painting today.  It is supposed to be BEAUTIFUL weather today!

More important than the physical labor is the spiritual work to become a woman of God ... not just in word, but in action.

...that they may teach the young women

to be ... chaste ...

The idea in this teaching is to be modest in our dress and actions.  The author refers to the affect of a woman's dress on the men around her.  While the world tells us and shows us one way to dress, the Lord commands another.  What does your dress suggest?  Is there someone that you can ask?  Your husband? a father?  The stores are full of suggestive clothing - small, tight, clingy, ...  I am sure that you have noticed it.  Why not take stock of your attire and make changes that would please the Lord.  Check your clothing in many positions - front, back, when stretching,  when bending to pick something up.  If it is inappropriate, fix it or dispose of it.  Do not be a stumbling block to the men around you.  You will have to answer for each choice that you made in regards to your dress.

Discretion

"teach the young women to be ... discreet"

Time for some Wednesday Woman's Work.  Today holds a pile of ironing, hopefully 2 squares of carrot seeds in the ground (if the rain doesn't arrive), some Sunday School worksheets, and some ebay ads (AAH, hopefully getting rid of some clutter).

More important than physical work is the internal work on becoming more of what my Savior wants me to be.  Trait number four is Discretion.  The author discribes being discreet as "prudent; wise in avioding error and in selecting the best means to accomplish a purpose; circumspect; courteous, polite, honest dealings."  Wow!  This is more than a little work.

The author gives illustrations of courteousness (consideration of others).  Do I treat others as I would want to be treated?  Do I return what I borrow with increase?  Do I thank properly?  How do I deal with others?  The Lord wants me to look to others needs over my own.

Honesty (good judgment).  Am I honest in my dealings?  Do I seek to manipulate?  The author specifically illustrates with a woman who asks unnecessary favor (babysitting, rides) or who borrrows without returning.  She may be tolerated, but her selfishness or self-centeredness will not breed respect for her or for her family.

Gracious (good taste).  The author linked this trait specifically to activity in the home.  A wife holds a lot of sway in her husband's opinions and decisions.  Do I try to manipulate my husbands decisions with sly "questions"?  Do I nag in the name of "righteousness"?  Do I accept his gifts and gestures without worrying about finances? 

The part of the definition that struck me was a carefulness which can cover every area of my life.  Am I careful with my time and choosing the best use of time?  Am I careful with our budget as I shop each week seeking to choose the best foods and goods at the best price?  Am I careful to hold my tongue in a variety of situations?  Am I careful to give input in the home without manipulating?  Am I careful with the feelings of others?

I desire not to be ridiculous, out of place, embarassing, or a joke because I lack discretion.

As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout,

so is a fair woman without discretion.

Proverbs 11:22

Loving children

I am looking out at a sunny day today.  Yesterday it snowed much of the day, but it was too warm to stick.  I do love to see the snow when it is here, but SUNSHINE is my favorite type of weather.  I am still in my workout attire.  I did a step workout this morning.  It is one of the "sweatiest" workouts I do and only requires a simple step.  I love that I can put in my own music and enjoy the workout.  When hubby and I moved to NC, we were a little disappointed that we would no longer have a gym to use.  The military gave us a gym membership as a "perk" of the job and our former apartment complex also had a stationary bike and treadmill in a basic workout center.  The aerobic step is GREAT!  It is simple, it can be hidden under the sofa and it is great to build aerobic strength and leg muscles (usually my calves are crippled the day after a step workout).

Titus 2:4-5

"That they may teach the young women ... to love their children."

The third requirement of a woman is to love her children.  I admit that I write this as an outsider, but also as one with experience as an educator.  The author of Created to Be His Helpmeet starts the chapter reminding wives that loving their husband is the best way to love their children.  As an outside observer, I can often see mothers who "love" their children at the expense of their husband.  Unfortunately the children and their "needs" come first to the point that the husband is ignored or relegated to 2nd, 3rd, or 4th place.

The second point to loving children is teaching them and keeping them engaged in life.  I loved studying and participating in early childhood education because of the natural interest that children have in gaining knowledge.  I love the "Why's" of a young person,  I love their desire to learn so as to gain independence, I love the bright look as discoveries are made.  As an educator for 6 years, there was a distinct difference between children when they first stepped into my classroom at age 4, 5, or 6.  Some arrived at school and knew all of their letters, their colors, how to color, how to cut, about their health, about animals ... you get the picture.  Some unfortunately were merely babies in a 4-year old body.  Why the difference?  It was not because of preschool, or even natural ability.  It was the amount of time that their parents had spent with them.  (Note: I am not infering that slower children with mental or physical challenges are not properly love and challenged by their parents.)  This is not a "play all day" mentality that prevents a mother from completing household duties, but family involvement.  Teaching can occur all day, every day - counting the number of spoons for the table, sorting colors for the laundry, cooking with wholesome ingredients and explaining why, working in the yard weeding, pointing to letters as books are read and enjoyed together, explaining muscles as we exercise.  Care of children is a full-time job and not one to be delegated to others, to a television, to a video game, or even to loving baby-sitters.  Are you up to the challenge? 

As an additional thought of my own, we also show love to children with boundaries and standards.  Do your children know what to expect each day?  There is peace in knowing where the "line" is.  Is there a set time to wake, to go to sleep?  Are there tasks to be done upon rising in the morning?  Is there an expectation of "excellence" in school work?  Are there consequences when expectations are not met?  The hard part of this is that it requires parental discipline - if I am not disciplined to rise in the morning, how can I expect this of my children?  If I do not make my bed upon rising, my expectations are hypocritical. 

If you have been blessed to be a mother, will you show obvious love to your children today? 

...to love their husbands

Just got home from a little date with hubby.  We had a BOGO coupon for Cici's pizza so we went for dinner.  Cici's is not high class pizza, but they do have variety ... thin crust, thick crust, regular crust ... bbq pizza, taco pizza, mac and cheese pizza, alfredo pizza, ... and the boring pepperoni, sausage, cheese, ham and pineapple, supreme on an all-you-can-eat buffet with a salad bar.  We wandered Target and Walmart for a little bit on the way home and it was nice to be free of the school books for a little bit.

We now reach the point in the list of eight traits of a godly wife that seems, well, kind of basic.  Do women actually need to be taught to love their husbands.  Isn't that why we married in the first place?  I think that the problem is confusion about the needs of a husband.  I thought briefly about the "5 Love Languages" when I read this.  Often I have looked at families in crisis only to think that each member was trying to show love, but was not being understood by the other.  They might be serving the other, when the other really just wanted time.  They might be giving words of affirmation, when the other just wanted a small gift as a sign that they were thought of.  They might be giving time, when the other just wanted physical affection.  I think that it is best to practice all the "love languages" in a home and not just the ones that come easy to us.

In Created to Be His Helpmeet this chapter involved meeting all of the needs of the one that we were created to help. The author specifically promoted meeting a huband's physical needs and desires in this chapter ... without excuse.  Men are created differently than women and their needs are different.  These differences help men to lead, give men the desire to meet a struggle head-on - these differences should be celebrated, and not shunned each night.  It should be our goal as wives, that our husbands' needs are so completely met, that they are never tempted to look elsewhere or left in a weakened state where they cannot resist temptation.  Temptation is everywhere in this world - keep your hubby full and satisfied in all areas.  It may involve simplifying your daily routine, putting kids to bed earlier, waking up earlier, or just taking better care of yourself (proper food, rest, and exercise) so that you are more able to meet his needs.  It all involves looking past "my" needs and wants and looking on the needs of the one who chose me as his own.

Donut Day!

Will you humor me again?  It is donut day!  8 years ago was our first date and it was to a local bakery for donuts and coffee.  It included my brother and his family including 10 day old baby George :)  We will be celebrating today with of course ... a donut.  I imagine that hubby is glad that he chose donuts rather than a large seafood meal!

"That they may teach the young women to be sober ..." Titus 2:4

In Created to be His Helpmeet, we are now to the list of eight behaviors that should belong to all wives and mothers and that should be passed down from woman to woman.  The author defines to be sober in this way: "to do one's duty, be moderate, self-controlled, thoughtful, and to learn to make wise decisions and judgments."  When I married, my career changed drastically.  I was no longer living for myself or for a class full of students and their parents.  My career is now to please, serve, and care for my husband and my home.  I need to have the same dicipline in my home that I had in the classroom, desiring to be that best in my role that I can be.  Part of my job is to create a clean home, a peaceful "haven" that hubby loves to come home to, and meals that are healthy and pleasing.  To me, this chapter underscored self discipline.  I think that it is easy to get lax and lazy in my responsiblities in the home because there are few deadlines and little outside evalution or job performance ratings.  Hubby is very gracious and encouraging, but could I do more with the time that I have each day?  Hubby works hard ALL day at school or work and I should do no less in the home.  I think of the many times that I pushed through the day as a teacher because I "had" to be at school, but how many times do I take a day off in my home.  The author summarizes the chapter with these thoughts: "A good help meet establishes a haven of rest.  She will adjust to her husband's time schedule and eating habits.  She will relax and enjoy her family, instead of worrying and fretting."

Happy Anniversary!

It is my eighth anniversary today!  On Febrary 10, 2002, I was introduced to my future husband.  He had walked into the church that I attended about a month before and of course I was curious about this single sailor (he just figured that I was married), but it was not until this special Sunday night that we were finally introduced.  When I celebrate this anniversary, it always reminds me of the benefits of waiting for God's best.  Like many girls, I imagined myself falling in love in college and getting married soon after graduation.  That was not God's plan for me.  It was not until 5 years later that He would bring me my heart's desire.  It is easy to get impatient and I am the queen in that department, but "God always gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him."  Did you ever make a list of qualities that you were looking for in a future mate?  Yes, I did!  The funny thing is that I "wanted" a military man and a man in the ministry.  I guess I should have been looking for a Chaplain :)  God brought me a man in the military who within a year of marriage would have a heart to one day train for the ministry that God would show him. 

Chapter 14 of Created to Be His Helpmeet is entitled "Kings and Kingdoms."  The topic again is reverence for the "king" in your home.  Men were created to lead and all men have that opportunity to lead in their homes if no where else.  When I, as a wife, show proper reverence and love (not only in action, but in word and body language), my husband can rule with honor, with confidence and in turn with love for the ones who are encouraging him.  Though I respect my husband because he is a great leader, some wives must learn to respect the position and give reverence simply because it is the leader that God placed as head of their homes.  Elizabeth Elliot once wrote, "the very heart of reverence is extreme appreciation and profound thankfulness that this man, just as he is, has chosen to love me, just as I am."  I love that statement.  My husband CHOSE me out of all the women that he knew.  Wow!  He must think that I am pretty special and I can make myself more beautiful in my reverence and respect of him and his position.

I am excited to start the next study of 8 practical things from Titus 2 that God requires of a woman. 

Act like a queen today and think of some practical ways that you can encourage the king in your home today!

"The Great Mystery"

It is "Womans Work Wednesday!"  I have hubby's work clothes in the washer and 2 additional piles of laundry awaiting their turn.  It is supposed to be sunny and mild, so I want to take advantage of the chance to hang things outside.  Church supper tonight, so I will be cooking up some homemade turkey soup - YUMMY!  Yesterday saw many accomplishments.  I got through my mending pile - 2 coats, 5 skirts, 2 ties, and a sweater ... Why do I wait so long?  At my brother's constant mention of homemade bagels, I attempted some on my own and they turned out very well (and were fun to make)!  Then I finished the taxes and e-filed last night - Until next January ...  Oh!  and I am learning a new position on the violin ... must keep plugging away.

Chapter 13 in Created to be His Helpmeet is entitled "The Great Mystery."

Ephesians 5:32-33

This is a great mystery:

but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular

so love his wife even as himself;

and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

This has been mentioned before, but my marriage relationship was designed to be a model of Christ's relationship to the church.  WOW!  How many people would want a relationship with Christ if they saw my home and marriage?  Is this why the church is not growing, why our soul-winning efforts are in vain?  Perhaps it is not just "our culture" but it is our disobedience to God and our poor example of His great love for us.  Am I obeying my husband?  Submitting to his desires?  Reverencing him by treating him with regard in ALL situations?

Ponder these quotes: "God entrusted to a man and his wife the opportunity, as a married couple, to be a living picure of this great mystery." (p. 127)  "A good marriage is good because one or both of them have learned to overlook the other's faults, to love the other as they are and to not attempt to change them or bring them to repentance." (p. 128)  "In today's churches, many women have failed to win their husbands because they have tried to be evangelists instead of wives." (p. 131)  "It is amazing how vulnerable a man is when a woman treats him with honor." (p. 133)

The commands in a marriage are very cyclical.  The husband is to love, the wife is to reverence and submit.  When my hubby shows me love, I can't help but submit and reverence.  When I show proper submission and reverence, he can't help but love.  A marriage can be transformed if one member decides to follow GOD"S PLAN for marriage.  Why not start with the person you see in the mirror?

"By Divine Appointment"

Chapter 12 of Created to be His Helpmeet is a basic reminder of why woman was created.  The author states: "The only position where you will find real fulfillment as a woman is as a help meet to your husband."  Of course, that is why God created woman in the garden of Eden.  She was created to help Adam, it was not good for him to be alone.  And yet, many women buck the position that God has ordained for them.  As prideful creatures, we do not want to submit ... sometimes we want to lead, or to just have our own way.  I like this perspective instead: "The emphasis is not on women submitting to men, but rather on women showing, here on earth, the heavenly pattern of the Son submitting to the Father."  It is a picture of the church submitting to Christ.  Would we have salvation through the shed blood of Christ today if Christ had submitted to the Father as I submit to my husband?  Are our homes the picture of the relationship that Christ has with his church, or have we marred the picture.

But I would have you know,

that the head of every man is Christ;

and the head of the woman is the man;

and the head of Christ is God.

I Cor. 11:3

My position in the home is divinely appointed by God.  Should I let the world belittle that role?  Should I downplay my ministry.  I am the chief aid to the ruler in my home, the executive secretary the CEO of my home.  I have an exalted position.  My hubby treats me in this way, so my role is easier then some.  But why don't you try it?  Even if you don't feel the encouragement from within your home ... take God at His Word and seek to be the woman that He created you to be.